About 12 years ago, if I was asked about my older brother I would have very few positive things to say. Trust me my parents especially my mother gave me endless talks on the importance of having an older brother and how if they were to die at that moment he’d be the one to take of my younger brother and I.
I being the stubborn girl I was,refused to listen to them until they eventually gave up. I would literally find the smallest excuse to fight with him and when I say fight I mean literally that, the blows that have been exchanged between us would definitely have earned us roles in WWE ( who else was shocked to find out it was all acting? ). Funnily enough that was one of the few shows we could have been found watching in peace. He probably disliked me because he enjoyed being an only child and getting attention all the time until that attention had to be divided, or maybe it’s because I was just annoying. 😀 (If you know him feel free to ask).
I guess things begun to change when he left Kenya to study, you know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? I kind of missed his presence in the house but pride would never allow me to admit that. It was actually so bad I never used to Skype him cause I was scared my true emotions would show.
3 years later I also left my parent’s house to join him and I guess its safe to say we’ve grown closer.
What breaks my heart is seeing our parent’s generation allowing material things to get in the way of their relationships with their siblings. These are people they grew up with somehow getting along and now they would go as far as wishing death upon them.
How does a fight even get to the point of wishing death upon another?
They say charity begins at home, maybe that’s why there’s no love in the world; there’s no love between us and our brothers.
How would you let a stranger come between you and your brother? To the point that you’d get joy from seeing your own blood suffer. Remember the methali(proverb) we used to be forced to write inshas on? Damu ni nzito kuliko maji. English equivalent: Blood is thicker than water.
Remember the stories you’d write? Why not incorporate that in real life.
How do we let the hate we have towards them blind us from remembering how good they were to us in the past, and possibly prevent us from experiencing the good times we could have with them in the present.
Only when they die then we will know..
Our pride will be the end of us all.
Why is it then when we disagree with someone we let it develop into an argument which ends up as a fight. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but that doesn’t mean we are right.
Why then can’t I be the bigger person in that situation and try meet the other person halfway?
Why would I then allow the fight to go on for years on end ? I can barely face the person while in the same room as them.
The worst thing about fights between parents and their siblings is that they allow them to trickle down to the next generation as a means of “shielding them”. What are you shielding them from other than the chance to get to know and interact with their own blood?
20 years might be too late to try forming strong relationships with someone you had the chance to get to know from the day of their birth.
I fought with my brother yes, we still do fight at times and we still have future fights to go, but that doesn’t mean we let it get in the way of our relationship.
I cannot expect myself to be closer friends to people I meet out here in the world than I am to my own siblings.
Jealousy could be the issue.
You see them making a name for themselves and building themselves up, it eats you from the inside out, you do not like it. You had the same opportunities, you probably even got more from the parents that you share but you let jealousy consume you and you begin pulling away.
You then begin turning people away from them by spreading false rumours, they hear these rumours and laugh in disbelief but continue loving you..however they learn to love you from a distance.
You can’t stand to see your brother happy while you’re hating, you gang everyone against him and it makes you satisfied to see him all on his own.
Money , what is it other than paper that is meant to help in conducting business. Why do we use it as a measure of our wealth?
Or maybe we’re jealous of the people who steal our sibling’s hearts and turn their attention away from us. Well how else would you expect your family to expand?
You honestly do not have to agree with their partner of choice. It’s okay its just none of your business honestly. Now I’m not saying sit and watch as they are being led astray, by all means step in and advise them if you see them changing for the worse.
However, do not interfere where you shouldn’t. Welcome him/her to the family especially if they end up getting married and treat them with the same respect you’d want to be treated with by another family.
Last words are so important.
If say, (God forbid) your sibling was to be called back by God today, can you remember the last words you said to them?
How do those words make you feel? Good or bad? Are you proud of your last encounter with them or would you wish to God you had another chance and you swear you’d do better?
Well instead of waiting to wish for better days, try make amends now, call them or text. It doesn’t matter if they don’t respond at least you’re at peace.
Lets not allow our siblings to suffer in silence when we are there to help them. <3.
Spread love. 🙂
Feel free to add your thoughts. 🙂