Hey guys, I hope you’re all doing well. In this week’s guest post Laura shares with us one of the positives that the current pandemic has presented her with. Do have a read and share your thoughts in the comments :).
” I don’t know if it’s just me, but this period of social distancing has come with a lot of appreciation for solitude. If there’s anything positive to draw out of all this, it’s that other than being confined to our spaces, we have a platform to do some deep personal introspection.
One day, a few weeks ago, I decided to try my hand in baking. If you know me you know that while I might be a good cook, I just do not enjoy it. It takes too long, and there’s too much time preparing and cleaning up, and a very short amount of time enjoying the food. While I was baking I realized that I constantly feel the need to do things as fast as possible. In other words, I do not understand the quality of delayed gratification. The problem is, the kitchen requires a lot of patience and for a reactive person like me, it’s a whole turnover of my thought process.
Because of my fast-paced nature, I place unnecessary standards on myself. I hardly ever enjoy what I’m doing, and that’s dangerous because when magnified, it is a classic illustration of destination addiction. It proves my reinforcement in the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, the next person or the next stage of life. And as Mark Manson puts it, the desire for a more positive experience is itself negative.
I was speaking to a friend the other day, who in her YouTube Video, mentioned that delayed gratification is something she has been forced to learn. She says that while she hasn’t been able to gather the number of subscribers she would have liked to in the two years that she’s been at it, she has learnt to appreciate the process. She has learnt to appreciate her few loyal followers who help her every single day to become better at what she does, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
As we were having the conversation she pointed out that being overly-reactive is a good thing to some extent. Having been in the same group in school, she has seen my deep desire to get things done and out of the way, as fast as possible. However, this compromises my appreciation for learning, and makes work a chore rather than an enjoyable process.
Here’s a story that’s a little more personal. In a recent encounter with a close friend, he pointed out the fact that I feel the need to have answers to everything before I commit to anything or anyone. I kept asking him questions which even he didn’t have answers to. ‘Then what? How does this end? What if it doesn’t happen, and this happens instead?’
In my head, I like to calculate all probabilities and even mini-probabilities of the major probabilities. I like to have solutions to each of these possibilities before I commit to being part of anything. That’s a clear lack of appreciation for the process, because again, we cannot have full control of what happens in the future. All we can do is appreciate what we have now.
The thing is, the process is beautiful. If you’re a believer in the law of attraction, you know that in order to attract more, we must appreciate what we have now. Gratitude is vital in making room for abundance. You cannot be grateful if you constantly feel the need to reach the end without following the path. That’s the importance of delayed gratification.
You don’t have to see the light at the end of the tunnel for you to know it’s there. Appreciate the beauty or even just the existence of the tunnel itself. Maybe, just maybe, you will realise that the tunnel is part of the light. “