LIFE

THE SECRET TO LIVING

‘ In a world filled with endless possibilities, why do I find myself clinging tightly to that which is familiar?’

It is a well known fact that the life we live is unpredictable. One second you’re doing well financially, the next you’re struggling to out food on the table. One second you’re here, the next… Why don’t we then choose to live fully?

A year ago today, I received devastating news, death had once more knocked on my family’s door and claimed a member of the clan. The victim this time? Uncle Dick (God rest his soul). To say I didn’t see it coming would be a lie, but it still shocked me. He was my favourite uncle because, despite not having much to his name, he knew the secret to life; Savour the small moments because at the end of it all, they are the big moments. His way of doing this way subtle, but it worked. He would always take time to talk to his nieces and nephews at family events, even if it was only for 5 minutes.

In this last year, not a single month has passed that I haven’t thought about him and as my heart ached, I inevitably found myself thinking about this experience we call life. How despite knowing that every day above ground is a gift, we tend to live as though tomorrow is promised; like we are immortal. Watching once in a life time opportunities pass us by because ‘ tomorrow, next year, next month.’

My 22 years on this earth has taught me that the confines of your comfort zone is the most dangerous place to exist. In it you’re not exactly comfortable but to settle is better than exerting oneself or attempting to expand the boundaries of your knowledge. It is a place where you merely exist; a constant cycle of repeated actions. Within this space you fail to develop adaptability. This means that you will be unable to get back up when life pushes you over… and life will push you over.

To live, you need to allow your curiosity to force you out of your comfort zone making sure you have an open mind tagging along. 5 years ago if anyone had asked me what I wanted in life, my answer was simple: ‘To go to the University of Nairobi’s (UON) Dental School.’ I had always known I was walking down the wrong path but I chose to keep going, hoping it would amount to something all because I was afraid of venturing out to the unknown.

Its quite clear that I am not a dental student at UON, all thanks to a B+ grade in Biology. I remember being so upset which led me to do something uncomfortable; packing up and moving to the United Kingdom to study. 3 years later and that single decision has allowed me to enjoy life more than I previously did. I’ve made new friends and reconnected with old ones, I started this blog, travelled to Fiji solo on a volunteer expedition and most recently had the chance to take part in the Face of Kenya UK event which gave me the platform to speak from my heart and make a difference in someone’s life. Looking back, the only thing I do regret is not savouring the moments with my family and friends, Instead I would lock myself in all day studying.

I cannot finish this without saying how hard it is to step out of what is familiar to you. However, it is only the first step that’s hardest after you realise that it was worth it. You will fall down any times along the way, but its only by getting things wrong that you truly learn and experience life.

So what will you choose to do? Stay where you are or go out and live your best life.

 

This post was the piece I recently read for the talent section of Face of Kenya UK 2019. I dedicate it to Uncle Dick who may have gone to rest with the ancestors but will forever be alive in our hearts.

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LIFE

SIBLING RIVALRY.

About 12 years ago, if I was asked about my older brother I would have very few positive things to say. Trust me my parents especially my mother gave me endless talks on the importance of having an older brother and how if they were to die at that moment he’d be the one to take of my younger brother and I.

I being the stubborn girl I was,refused to listen to them until they eventually gave up. I would literally find the smallest excuse to fight with him and when I say fight I mean literally that, the blows that have been exchanged between us would definitely have earned us roles in WWE ( who else was shocked to find out it was all acting? ). Funnily enough that was one of the few shows we could have been found watching in peace. He probably disliked me because he enjoyed being an only child and getting attention all the time until that attention had to be divided, or maybe it’s because I was just annoying. 😀 (If you know him feel free to ask).

I guess things begun to change when he left Kenya to study, you know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? I kind of missed his presence in the house but pride would never allow me to admit that. It was actually so bad I never used to Skype him cause I was scared my true emotions would show.

3 years later I also left my parent’s house to join him and I guess its safe to say we’ve grown closer.

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No we don’t look alike -.-

What breaks my heart is seeing our parent’s generation allowing material things to get in the way of their relationships with their siblings. These are people they grew up with somehow getting along and now they would go as far as wishing death upon them.

How does a fight even get to the point of wishing death upon another?

They say charity begins at home, maybe that’s why there’s no love in the world; there’s no love between us and our brothers.

How would you let a stranger come between you and your brother? To the point that you’d get joy from seeing your own blood suffer. Remember the methali(proverb) we used to be forced to write inshas on? Damu ni nzito kuliko maji. English equivalent: Blood is thicker than water.

Remember the stories you’d write? Why not incorporate that in real life.

How do we let the hate we have towards them blind us from remembering how good they were to us in the past, and possibly prevent us from experiencing the good times we could have with them in the present.

Only when they die then we will know..

Our pride will be the end of us all.

Why is it then when we disagree with someone we let it develop into an argument which ends up as a fight. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but that doesn’t mean we are right.

Why then can’t I be the bigger person in that situation and try meet the other person halfway?

Why would I then allow the fight to go on for years on end ? I can barely face the person while in the same room as them.

The worst thing about fights between parents and their siblings is that they allow them to trickle down to the next generation as a means of “shielding them”. What are you shielding them from other than the chance to get to know and interact with their own blood?

20 years might be too late to try forming strong relationships with someone you had the chance to get to know from the day of their birth.

I fought with my brother yes, we still do fight at times and we still have future fights to go, but that doesn’t mean we let it get in the way of our relationship.

I cannot expect myself to be closer friends to people I meet out here in the world than I am to my own siblings.

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Me and my baby ❤

Jealousy could be the issue.

You see them making a name for themselves and building themselves up, it eats you from the inside out, you do not like it. You had the same opportunities, you probably even got more from the parents that you share but you let jealousy consume you and you begin pulling away.

You then begin turning people away from them by spreading false rumours, they hear these rumours and laugh in disbelief but continue loving you..however they learn to love you from a distance.

You can’t stand to see your brother happy while you’re hating, you gang everyone against him and it makes you satisfied to see him all on his own.

Money , what is it other than paper that is meant to help in conducting business. Why do we use it as a measure of our wealth?

Or maybe we’re jealous of the people who steal our sibling’s hearts and turn their attention away from us. Well how else would you expect your family to expand?

You honestly do not have to agree with their partner of choice. It’s okay its just none of your business honestly. Now I’m not saying sit and watch as they are being led astray, by all means step in and advise them if you see them changing for the worse.

However, do not interfere where you shouldn’t. Welcome him/her to the family especially if they end up getting married and treat them with the same respect you’d want to be treated with by another family.

 

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Last words are so important.

If say, (God forbid) your sibling was to be called back by God today, can you remember the last words you said to them?

How do those words make you feel? Good or bad? Are you proud of your last encounter with them or would you wish to God you had another chance and you swear you’d do better?

Well instead of waiting to wish for better days, try make amends now, call them or text. It doesn’t matter if they don’t respond at least you’re at peace.

Lets not allow our siblings to suffer in silence when we are there to help them. <3.

Spread love. 🙂

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This is a picture that will welcome you to my late grandparents house 🙂

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Feel free to add your thoughts. 🙂

 

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